[Writing Post] The Return of “Don’t Be A Jerk” — Or The #1 Rule Of Writing

I’ve written several times about the need for writers to be professional a couple of times in the past. Unfortunately it’s a topic that bears repeating – not only as lessons to new writers, but as reminders to myself and other established authors. Wil Wheaton’s Wheaton’s Law, the name and main tenant behind Yard Dog Press‘s “church”, applies to us all (cleaned up for PG audiences) “Don’t Be a Jerk”.

In fact, this is now what I’m telling new writers looking for the “One Rule” of writing. It is the first thing we say on marketing panels and some of the “how-to” panels. And it’s a rule that needs to be beaten into all of our heads on a daily basis. Don’t Be A Jerk – say it with me now. I knew you could.

Jerkdom can be the biggest downfall of a writer’s career. And even someone who’s “been around the block” can fall prey to the siren call of narcissism. Guess what? It’s not now nor ever will be all about you/your book. Let me repeat THAT. It’s not now nor ever will be ALL ABOUT YOU/YOUR BOOK. Especially at conventions or other live events.

“But…but…but…, Rhonda, you told me to go to conventions to sell my book! How can it not be about that?”

I’m glad you asked. Conventions and other events are not about you. They’re not about the book you’ve written — which is the best, most brilliant piece of writing the universe has ever seen. We The Professionals are the “trained bears on unicycles” in this scenario. We’re the sideshow. What’s the most important thing at a convention? The audience in the panels. The fans who’ve come to spend hard earned – and all too commonly saved up over time – cash on books and to maybe meet the people who’ve written them. The writers are sprinkles on the sundae not the ice cream.

Thing is some writers who have their shiny new books/stories don’t stop long enough to figure out their audience isn’t “JUST” the unrecognized nametag who showed up at a signing. The audience includes other writers, editors, publishers and professionals. Be a jerk to a general fan person? You’ve lost a customer – maybe for life. Be a jerk to a fellow professional? Well, that could keep you from having a career to begin with.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking just because you have finally gotten a book contract, with maybe one in the stores and one on the way, that you’re Big League. It’s tempting to let praise and attention from peers and higher to make you feel like a superstar. But just remember – even stars fall. And if you alienate all those who were with you when you got lucky with your contract, who’s going to be there when the shiny wears off?

Something I have to keep reminding myself…it’s something Mark Finn told me ArmadilloCon. “You’re only really one of the Cool Kids when you don’t realize it.” I am lucky to have some very Big League support in my corner. I’m trying very hard not to abuse it or rely on it or wave it around. It’s scary enough thinking about LIVING UP TO IT. I don’t want to disappoint any of them. Nor do I want to EVER make anyone who’s ever supported me and my writing to feel they’re beneath my notice. I wouldn’t have a career if it weren’t for the help and support of a whole lot of people.

Have I had my moments of Jerkiness? I have. I admit it. I can point to one specific one that I got smacked upside the head for by Selina Rosen. I was so overly enthusiastic about my book/story, I scared a customer away. That’s a Bad Thing. But let me tell you, when it was pointed out to me? There’s a lesson I don’t have to learn again – because I think about it EVERY TIME I deal with a reader and a fellow professional.

DON’T BE A JERK.

Tags: marketing, professionalism, Rule of Writing, Wheaton's Law, Wil Wheaton, Yard Dog Press