Or…THANK YOU, Therapy. This is a post with edits that I just put on LinkedIN.
“Open to Work”/”Laid Off”/”Unemployed” – these are words that carry judgment. That are psychological fraught. That impact a person’s sense of worth.
We are “less than” because we’re not “productive” members of society. We’re unhirable because someone decided that we didn’t need to be employed where we were – or because it’s toxic leadership is now the norm.
You know what doesn’t carry judgment? SABBATACLE. That’s a high-falutin’ word that academics and others are “allowed” to do. In some circles they’re mandated to take take this time away to literally figure out their next chapter (usually for a next publication or project).
So guess what? I’m on sabbatical. I’m releasing the stress/anxiety/depression that I’ve felt for the last 6 months of being on LinkedIN because IT. WAS. EXPECTED.
I’m allowing myself embrace creativity. I’m not letting the voices that say whatever artsy/creative thing I have actually always wanted to do but couldn’t commit fully because it didn’t earn enough or wasn’t responsible enough be as loud.
I am taking the time to figure out what makes me happy. Because it’s okay to be happy. Here’s something I said in therapy that made my therapist almost giddy – I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO BE HAPPY.
Am I starting out from a position of some privilege? Yes, I am. I know I have some support networks others don’t, and I so very grateful. Do I now have some flexibility to be the support some family members need? Yes, I do, and I’m okay with that.
I’m not saying this to do a cheerleading “BE LIKE ME!” (except giving yourself permission to be happy – please do that). Not everyone’s path is the same. And I might fall flat on my face – which is also okay (hard lesson number 1.7 billion).
If you’re struggling with “Oh, I have no job or I am poor, I cannot dare be happy”. Screw that. I’ve lived it too long. Take the break/vacation. Enjoy the latte/avocado toast/whatever. Pick up the pretty pen. We don’t have to wear the gunny sack and be miserable because we’re the HAVE NOTS (not matter what anyone says). I say this as much for ME as for anyone who needs to hear it.
I’m still going to be saying weird things here. I’m still going to be spicy on LinkedIN (that’s just fun). And I’m going to enjoy writing fiction. I’m going to be asking for tips and tricks for building out a Freelance Writing thing that aren’t overly scammy or expensive. I’m going to redefine what it is to be me.
And I’m making notes on today’s last session with my therapist (extended maternity leave) so I’m not necessarily starting at zero with the next therapist (because not losing this ground) in June. Let’s see where this Season of Change takes us.
One Response
Yes. Give yourself permission to be happy. You do you, and if by some chance you can help someone else find a way to permit themselves to be happy, then that’s great for both of you.